Real estate agents’ tricks now open for inspection!

By Cam McLellan

Real estate agents are notorious for talking up their properties in order make a sale, but don’t be fooled,make sure you understand the true meaning of their jargon.

For example, “a cosy rural property” means “small and 20 minutes’ drive from the shops”.

Here are some of the lines used by real estate agents, and their translations:

Estate agent speak “In need of modernisation” Translation “This property hasn’t been updated since the 1970s and needs a complete refit”

Estate agent speak “An ideal purchase as your first three-bedroom home” Translation “You can barely fit a bed into the third bedroom”

Estate agent speak “Easy-to-maintain living space” Translation “It’s really incredibly small”

Estate agent speak “Conveniently located” Translation “Next door to a busy main road and above a take away”

Estate agent speak “Unexpectedly re-available” Translation “The previous buyer pulled out at the last minute due to major problems or the surveyor revealed that the property was vastly overpriced”

Estate agent speak “Reduced” Translation “Desperate”

Estate agent speak “Within easy reach of local schools” Translation “Kids will congregate outside your house at lunchtime and drop litter all over your driveway.”

Estate agent speak “Ideal for the first-time buyer” Translation “The property’s small and in a terrible area”

Estate agent speak “Tremendous scope for improvement. A real blank canvas” Translation “Derelict”

Estate agent speak “In need of some updating” Translation “An old lady has recently died in the house and it hasn’t been decorated since she originally moved in 50 years ago”

Estate agent speak “A garden flat” Translation “A dark and most probably damp basement flat”

Estate agent speak “The property has many character features” Translation “The ceilings are extremely low”

Estate agent speak “Low maintenance rear garden” Translation “The garden is concrete”

Estate agent speak “New price!” Translation “This property was massively overpriced in the first place”

Estate agent speak ” Character….” Translation “Dilapidated”

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